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fulllblownrose:

It’s too hot *opens window* in comes 20 flies, 8 spiders, 17 daddy long legs, 50 moths, 3 dragons and 12 Jehovah’s witnesses.

(via evodevo-ditto-obvs)

Source: fulllblownrose
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irwins-bandanass:

If we’re dating, your hoodies become my hoodies.

(via officialnichols)

Source: restless-dreamers-wander
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justalilblondemama:

Accidental personal injuries are absolutely the worst. “Oh, how did you do that?” “Well, frankly, I’m an idiot.”

(via shlomgil)

Source: justalilblondemama
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chilled:

*throws lamp at you* you need to lighten the fuck up

(via distraction)

Source: niadil
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helenelovesfunstuff:

What if Graces tv show becomes a real real hit and about five years from now we see pictures of her on the golden globe red carpet wearing a gorgeous gown arm in arm with Chester in a handsome suit and she’s wearing an engagement ring and they’re smiling and ahhh

can we replace chester with Swike in this situation?

(via hartgasms)

Source: helenelovesfunstuff
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awidesetvagina:

this is still the best story ever told at a talk show

(via felixdawkins)

Source: awidesetvagina
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